


While You Were Sleeping

by TeaGirl42



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Don't Panic No One Dies, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst with Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-07-25 21:23:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20032579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaGirl42/pseuds/TeaGirl42
Summary: An old friend comes back into Olivia's life, forcing her to deal with some past and present issues.





	1. 4 am

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: I was/am a huge Elliot Stabler fan. I was quite sulky when he left, but then I surprised myself by finding that I loved Rafael Barba even more! I came to realise how unhealthy that whole thing with Stabler really was...this story will definitely reflect that opinion, so be warned 😆 
> 
> Also - yes, the title is 100% a nod to the wonderful Peter Gallagher. It's one of my all-time favourite comfort movies and if it would have made any sense at all I would have definitely put him in the hospital bed instead!

It was late in the early hours of Friday morning when Olivia was woken by the sound of her mobile ringing. She rolled over and grabbed the phone quickly, answering it before the noise woke Noah. 

"Benson," she said softly.

"Hello, is this Olivia Benson?" a woman's voice asked softly.

"Yes, how can I help you?" Olivia asked looking over at the time and frowning when she saw that it was a little after 4 am.

"Olivia, my name is Susan Hopkins, I'm a nurse at Mount Sinai and I'm afraid a Mr John Munch has been brought in following a major cardiac incident. I spoke to him briefly and he asked me not to call anyone...but I found your number on some of his old records as an emergency contact, and well I…"

Olivia was already up and tugging on her clothes, holding the phone against her ear as she listened to the woman talk.

"No...no...I'm glad you called. Munch…I mean _John_ and I were colleagues and friends for a long time. I'll be there as soon as I can, I just need to find someone to look after my son."

"Of course, Ms Benson. I'm so pleased. I hope you understand that I'm taking a little bit of a risk calling you like this...without the patient's permission…but I could see from his records that he was a cop and I couldn't bear not calling anyone."

Olivia nodded, understanding the woman's concern, "I'm a police lieutenant, Nurse Hopkins, so you don't need to worry about this swinging back on you, even if Munch does make a fuss."

She could hear the smile in the nurse's voice when she replied, "Thank you, Ms Benson…I mean, Lieutenant."

"Olivia is fine…and I'll be there as soon as I can…"

* * *

Olivia said goodbye, hung up and then stared at her phone. She couldn't phone Lucy at this hour, Fin would need to come with her to the hospital, Rollins had Jessie…

She smiled and rolled her eyes - thinking of the cliché about friends who you can call when you have an emergency in the middle of the night. She scrolled through her phone, pressed _call _and waited.

"Barba," his voice sounded rough and half asleep, which was to be expected at a little after 4 am in the morning.

"Hi, Rafael, I'm so sorry to call you at this time - it's Olivia."

"What's wrong?" He asked urgently, she could tell he'd sat up quickly in bed.

"Munch has had a heart attack. He's at Mount Sinai…" Olivia explained succinctly, "...I'm going to ring Fin, but I need…can you…?"

She could hear Barba already moving around in his apartment, "You need me to come to watch Noah?"

"You don't mind?" Olivia asked guiltily.

"Hey, it's clearly an emergency…we're friends aren't we?" Barba said with a softness in his voice that she'd only ever heard him use for her.

"Thanks, Rafael…" She whispered.

* * *

Half-an-hour later, Barba arrived at her place in jeans and a pullover - looking less 'ADA Barba' than Olivia had ever seen him.

"I'm so grateful," Olivia said as she opened the door and showed him through. "School starts at nine, he knows what he has for breakfast…any problems just call me."

Barba nodded his head, "I think we're fairly capable men...your son and I…we'll be fine."

The front door, which had not been fully closed, swung open and Fin stepped inside. "Liv?" He called quietly and then looked surprised when he saw the ADA, he smiled and nodded, "Barba..."

"I called Rafael to look after Noah," Olivia explained and then grabbed a bag from the kitchen counter as she rushed to the door. She stopped for a second in front of Barba, "Thanks again, really just call me if…"

Barba shook his head, "I know how much he means to you, go. I promise we'll figure everything out."

Olivia nodded gratefully then rushed out of the door with Fin following not far behind her.

* * *

They arrived at the hospital and walked straight toward the desk.

"John Munch," Olivia said quickly to the man sat behind the computer and then felt a chill down her spine when she heard a very familiar voice behind her.

"They just took him down to surgery…"

Fin spun around and looked as shocked as Olivia felt. Then he gasped, _"Stabler?!"_

_  
_

_TBC…_

_  
_


	2. Parallel Lives

_"Elliot?"_ Olivia gasped in shock. He wasn't only the last person she was expecting to see, he had completely disappeared from her mind as someone she ever expected to see again. Not that she didn't think of him, just usually in reminiscence of a past life...almost a parallel universe.

"Liv, it's good to see you…" Elliot said with a familiar and warm smile. He looked older she noticed, but he hadn't really changed. She wondered briefly how she looked to him. Was her outward appearance as altered as she felt inside?

"I don't even…what are you doing here?" Olivia asked and glanced at Fin to find that he looked equally surprised to see their old...colleague? Was that even the right word? Friend maybe? Or partner...?

"A nurse called and left a message on my phone. A got back to the area a few months ago and well...when I got the message I thought…" Elliot shrugged and walked back toward a small waiting area near the door.

"So you just turn up like this? After years of radio silence!" Olivia raised her voice as she followed him and then deliberately forced herself to calm down, having an argument right now would not help anything. "What the hell, El?"

"I needed to step away. I couldn't do that and exist in some halfway point in-between our two worlds. Of_ all_ people, you must have understood that?" He responded to her as if that explained everything. He sat back in a chair near the window, his arms stretched out on either side and looked up at her with his eyebrows raised.

"We were partners and friends for over a decade and then you just vanished from my life without even a goodbye. I will never understand that!" Olivia spat out at him with all of the hurt and anger she'd had buried for years, then turned to walk back towards Fin.

"Liv, please. I'm here now, I just wanted to..." Elliot stood and began to follow her.

Olivia spun around and glared, the pain and stress of the whole situation were pressing all of her buttons. "You wanted to _what _exactly? I know you haven't been in touch with Munch either...so why are you even here?"

"And I suppose you have? Since he handed in his papers?" Elliot asked and raised his eyebrows. A slight smirk flitted across his face that suggested he knew the answer to that question and this only served to infuriate her even more. _No El,_ she thought furiously, _not everyone vanishes without a trace._

"Have we been in constant touch? No. But he didn't just disappear from my life! We had a leaving party, we've stayed in touch…checked in on each other occasionally. He came back whenever we needed him…" she took a deep breath and tried to control her emotions "...and I never, not for even one second, doubted that he was there for me. That he would always be there…" tears welled in Olivia's eyes and she swiped at them furiously. "Fuck, Elliot, I don't need this right now!"

Elliot had the decency to look abashed. "Look I'm sorry…I didn't know...I clearly didn't think this through."

"Can we just…" she sighed and tried to collect her whirling thoughts. "I don't know, could we focus on _Munch_ right now and just push all this crap to one side?" Olivia asked quietly.

"We can do that," Elliot replied firmly. "You don't need me to go then?"

Olivia's eyes narrowed. "You actually leave if I asked you to?"

Elliot let out a long breath and glanced at Fin. "Sure, Lieutenant, I don't know how much choice I'd have."

She looked at him firmly, took a deep breath and then turned away, her mind filled with a million questions that she didn't even feel ready to ask.

However, as she walked back towards Fin, Elliot heard her mutter quietly.

"Then stay..."

* * *

The three old friends sat on hard plastic chairs in the waiting room, the operation had been long and recovery even longer. The conversation had been stilted and uncomfortable.

But the long silences were nearly _unbearable._

Olivia looked at the time, "It's gone 5…" she observed quietly.

"You didn't need to pick your kid up from preschool?" Elliot asked keen to open up a new and more positive topic.

She looked up at him and raised her eyebrows.

"Hey, I've checked in over the years…" Elliot shrugged.

Olivia winced, not sure if she found that touching or infuriating – maybe a bit of both. "I have a friend taking care of him…" She explained simply.

"His name is Noah right?" Elliot asked.

"How did you know about…?" Olivia considered all the possible answers to that question and then shook her head and focused her gaze back to some public information posters on the wall behind him. "You know what? Don't answer that, I don't think I really want to know…"

"He's with a friend?" Elliot asked.

Olivia frowned, inexplicably irritated by her old partner's intrigue about Barba, but not really understanding why. She nodded, "A good friend…probably my closest friend over the past few years. Someone I've learned that I can actually rely on."

Elliot had noticed that Fin was always watching her carefully out of the corner of his eye, quietly taking in their interaction with an almost protective gaze. It was starting to annoy him a little, but he chose to ignore it. Now he saw him smile a little at her words. He assumed the detective knew this friend well and his intrigue was piqued. "So, this friend is…?"

"What about you, El? Don't you need to be anywhere…?" Olivia cut into his question.

"I don't get the kids till the weekend. Well, kid really, the others are old enough to plan their own schedules…." Eliot sighed, obvious frustration dripping from every word.

Fin sat forward and joined the conversation now, "You mean you and Kathy?"

Elliott nodded, "A little over three years ago. I think in the end everything had gone too far. It's not that the love had gone, but I think we were both aware that the second go had been a little too based on the baby...t's hard to come back from that. We both tried to make it work."

Fin nodded empathetically and then glanced at his boss and old friend.

Elliot looked between them both but then focused a little more on Olivia. "So you're both…?" _Single?_

"In need of something to eat…" Olivia intentionally moved passed what he was obviously trying to ask and glared at the vending machine with a look of disdain.

Fin rolled his eyes and smiled warmly at his friend, "Want me to go see if I can find us something edible?"

She turned and smiled at him affectionately and was about to answer when Noah suddenly appeared out of nowhere and jumped up onto Olivia's lap.

"Momma! We came to see you!" He smiled and wrapped his arms around her neck. "Hi, Uncle Fin!" He greeted the man sitting next to them without looking up, then he pulled back and studied his mother with a serious expression, "How is your friend, momma, is he still very poorly?"

Olivia was touched by her son's genuine concern and gently placed her hand on his cheek. "He is, baby...but I don't want you to worry about that." She looked around them. "How did you...?" Suddenly she saw Barba walking towards them through a small crowd of people and smiled. It was funny, she felt something close to relief as the tension of the past few hours dropped out of her body a little.

"Sorry, he got away from me when he saw you…but I promise I had my eyes on him the whole time and until then I had him under tight control," Barba gave Olivia a sly half-smirk and then nodded at Fin.

She was a little taken aback by his appearance; he was still wearing blue jeans, but the pullover had gone with the change of weather and now he only wore a simple blue shirt, unbuttoned at the neck. He obviously hadn't shaved since the day before.

Casual Barba was a _very_ different - but Olivia noticed equally sexy - look for her friend.

"What are you guys doing here?" She smiled and hugged her boy.

"Well, I picked up Noah and he wanted to see you. I figured you both might be hungry...and since we spoke on the phone and you said that you were out here waiting I couldn't see any harm in us coming in to see you and bring you both some food." Barba held out a box that he had been carrying with a small smile.

"They're sandwiches," Noah explained happily. "I made them for you…" He smiled up at the ADA, "...well, Uncle Rafa helped."

Olivia laughed and hugged Noah, then smiled up at her friend. _Thank you…_she mouthed at him gratefully, as much for bringing her son in for a hug as for the food. Although she expected that any food Rafael Barba had a hand in would be much better than anything the hospital had to offer.

Olivia heard a cough and glanced over at Elliot. She'd almost forgotten that he was there for a minute, Rafael and Noah's arrival had somehow mentally signalled a return to her 'real' life.

"Sorry…" She said awkwardly and glanced at Barba before introducing them. "Elliot...this is my son Noah and ADA Rafael Barba. This is Elliot Stabler - Noah, he used to work with momma, Uncle Fin and our friend John a long time before you were even born."

Barba looked a little shocked but recovered quickly. "Really, _the_ Elliot Stabler?" He asked and reached to shake his hand when Elliot stood and stepped towards him.

"Seems my reputation proceeds me…" Elliot smiled.

"You could say that." Barba glanced at Olivia and then back to Elliot, "I've heard a lot about you."

Elliot smirked a little, "Well then, councillor, you seem to have me at an advantage…"

Olivia knew that Elliot meant that as a dig - and she also knew that Barba would pick up on that.

"It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it…" Barba smiled tightly, let go of Elliot's hand and then turned back to Olivia. "We didn't mean to intrude."

"You and Noah are never intruding…" Olivia assured with a slightly sad smile.

"I should get him home though, Lucy is coming in an hour so that I can get some work done…" Barba explained, clearly a little uncomfortable.

"You're sure you're still okay helping me with this?" Olivia asked.

"I worked from your place today but I'll go into work tomorrow. I assume you're staying here?" Barba was talking in a lower tone now, clearly conscious of the new person's presence.

"I'll call you if I hear anything," Olivia assured. "I'm so grateful, Rafael, really."

"Call any time, I mean that…" Barba smiled tightly, glanced back at Elliot and nodded, then he nodded more smoothly at Fin before he held his hand out to Noah. "Ready to go, amigo?"

Noah climbed down from his mom's lap and took his Uncle Rafa's hand. "See you soon, momma?" The little boy checked.

"Sooner than soon, baby, _I promise. _You just stay with your Uncle Rafa and Lucy for a little while longer and then momma will be home."

Noah smiled, waved at Uncle Fin and then walked away with his friend.

* * *

After a few minutes, Elliot raised his eyebrows at Olivia, "So that's the 'friend' then? The SVU ADA I presume?"

Olivia nodded, "Barba's been with us for a long time now."

"And his duties include childcare?" Elliot smiled with obvious amusement.

"He's a good friend - and that friendship means that he was happy to help me out when I called him in a state at 4 am this morning," Olivia corrected a little sharply.

Elliot laughed, "That guy's after more than friendship, Liv, and he doesn't really seem your type..."

Olivia stood silently, then placed the box of sandwiches down next to Fin and walked away.

"Bit of advice, Stabler?" Fin said as they both watched Olivia leave.

Elliot turned to look at him and shrugged.

"Lay off Barba. They're tight…like tight-tight. We've all been through some shit that…" Fin stopped himself and sighed. "He's not just the latest in a long line of ADAs, man. Liv's the captain now and he's her partner."

Elliot narrowed his eyes a little, glanced at Olivia's retreating figure and then nodded silently at Fin.

_TBC…_


	3. Moving On

A few hours later, Fin had left to stretch his legs and find some half-decent coffee.

Olivia and Elliot sat opposite each other in silence. It was dark outside and the waiting area had cleared out substantially, which left the room feeling strangely quiet and empty.

After about five minutes he got up and moved to sit in a seat one away from his old partner.

"Sorry if I was being an ass earlier..." He smiled at her genuinely.

Olivia looked up at him and shrugged. "It's been a long time, we're both a little touchy. It's fine..." She returned his smile tightly and he let out a long breath of relief.

"I am sorry you know? For everything," he conceded quietly. "I know it was my doing, but don't think for a second that I didn't feel it. I really did believe that I was doing the right thing by everyone."

Olivia sat with her own thoughts for a few moments. She was angry at him...maybe she always would be...but if she was honest with herself she never believed his actions were intentionally cruel.

And in spite of everything, it didn't seem like he'd exactly arrived at the outcome he'd hoped for.

"So, you and Kathy…?" She asked eventually.

He sighed and rolled his neck, "Too much water under the bridge I guess..."

"You didn't want to stay nearby for the kids?" She asked with interest.

"I stayed around for a while. I still see them regularly, but I came to realise that I had to move on if I wanted to be the man they needed me to be. I wasn't sure who I was there...if I wasn't that...you know, a husband and father?"

Olivia nodded thoughtfully. "So I assume you're working?"

He nodded, "More for my peace of mind than the money. Consulting…it's easy enough work to find and pays well." Then he glanced at her, "So...lieutenant, hey? I knew you'd be in charge of everything one day."

She laughed softly, starting to relax back into their natural banter.

"How's Cragen? I assume you've...?"

Olivia smiled and nodded, "Like Munch...not regularly, but we stay in touch. He's married again to a _really_ good woman. He's _happy."_

Elliot smiled affectionately, then he moved to turn towards her a little in his seat. "And how about you? Are _you_ happy?"

His voice had dropped a little lower now, she looked up at him and then narrowed her eyes a little.

"Do I have everything I want?" She clarified but then continued without waiting for an answer. "No. But I have more than I'd ever allowed myself to hope for back then. So yes, I'm happy. Noah makes me happy...our friends...our family. Maybe it's an unconventional family, but it works for us."

"He's a cute boy…" He observed.

"You hardly even acknowledged him," she side-eyed him and smiled a little.

Elliot shrugged, "He doesn't know me..." he paused for a second and then added, "...the ADA seems like a good guy. Silver spoon?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and laughed, _"Definitely not,_ everything Rafael has got is the result of blood and sweat. No one ever handed him anything." She smiled at her old friend now. "Maybe you won't believe me, but I guess you have a bit in common."

Elliot raised his eyebrows at that.

"Don't get me wrong, I think it's highly likely you'd absolutely hate each other..." She added with an affectionate smile that Elliot didn't really understand. She paused to think for a second, then added, "Rafael Barba is everything his reputation would suggest - cocky, insufferable, arrogant…" she smiled, "...but only because he knows he's better than everyone else in that courtroom."

Elliot laughed and shook his head, he was about to ask how on earth they became friends when she continued unprompted.

"But underneath all that bravado is a good man…the best I've ever known. He's kind, generous, funny..." she smiled affectionately and then added, "...sometimes unintentionally."

Elliot's eyebrows rose a little at her more detailed assessment.

"He fights so hard for them, El…for every single victim. Almost to the point that it feels like each case chips away at him a bit. It might look like ego from the outside, that desire to win…but he really cares…maybe sometimes a little too much…" She sighed and ran her fingers over the box he'd brought in earlier.

"That doesn't sound all that healthy," Elliot observed.

"We have each other's backs, _always_," Olivia said resolutely. "I won't let him…"

She paused, suddenly realising that she didn't want to continue that train of thought, then looked up at her old partner and changed the direction of their conversation. "It did hurt, you know? When you just walked away like that. Not even a goodbye? Nothing or no one has ever broken my heart like that. I think it took me years to…"

"Liv…" Elliot whispered softly and moved into the seat next to her. "You must understand that I needed to walk away? If I was going to move on after what happened...and if Kathy and I ever even stood a chance of being happy…"

She looked into his eyes now and saw the truth in them. "That worked out well for you…" She winced when she realised how cruel that sounded.

He shook his head, "No, you're right...mistakes were made."

"With other people or...?" She asked, not really knowing if she wanted to know the answer.

Elliot nodded. "One…me_. _Kathy forgave me at first, but the damage was done."

"All those years, I never even saw you consider…" Olivia muttered under her breath.

"It was different back then...and you know it..." His eyes were burning into hers now. "One kiss and I would have left her, you know that...one kiss and everything would have been destroyed."

Olivia knew he was talking about her now and she felt a shudder run down her spine at the fire in his eyes. She glanced at his lips and then sensed him moving closer.

"You weren't good for me, El" Olivia whispered quietly. "I understand that now. My life was on hold for all those years. You took up so much of me that I didn't have room for anything else. Even on the occasions that I did try to move on you turned up on the scene and the bubble was burst...it was over. You had your family, your wife waiting at home…and I was just…"

"You wanted me?" Elliot asked.

Olivia let out a sharp laugh, "Don't give me that crap!"

"When Kathy and I split, you didn't even…" He started to contend.

"I wasn't your reward, El. You needed to figure out who you were and what you wanted outside of your marriage. Maybe if you'd done that and then made different choices…" She began to explain with obvious frustration.

"I could've had you?" He cut in.

"Don't be obtuse, Elliot. When Kathy fell pregnant again...you know you made your choice."

"Liv…" He tried again.

"Don't," She snapped.

"I always did you know?" Elliot moved towards her and reached to touch her hair. "I always l-..."

_"Don't you dare!" _She glared up at him with fire in her eyes.

"Liv, you okay?" Fin asked and broke the tension. They both looked up at him standing there with three coffees and a concerned expression on his face.

Olivia let out a long breath and smiled, "Yeah..." She gathered her thoughts and seemed to shake something off before smiling up at her old friend. "You found decent coffee?" She stood and stepped away from Elliot, almost unnaturally close to Fin.

"Yeah, 'round the corner." Fin frowned at Elliot and then looked back at Olivia. "Liv, you okay?"

"Good. Thanks. We haven't heard anything, he must still be sleeping…" She explained quickly.

Fin nodded, "You should get some sleep, there's a couch over there…"

She looked over, "I might…now you're back...but I'll just call and check in with Barba."

Olivia walked away without looking back at Elliot.

"What's goin' on?" Fin asked Elliot pointedly.

"What are you these days? Liv's guard dog?" Elliot snapped sharply.

Fin narrowed his eyes, "Her_ friend,_ Stabler. For a hell of a lot longer than you've been now...might be best you remember that."

* * *

Olivia stirred on the couch a few hours later and looked up to see Fin sitting nearby.

"News?" She asked as she sat up and combed her hair through with her fingers.

"I woulda woke ya," He replied simply and Olivia nodded and smiled.

"Where's Stabler?" She looked around at the mostly empty room.

"Walk," Fin explained succinctly. "Needed some fresh air." He was quiet for a few seconds and then added. "So he's divorced now? You guys were close…"

"Don't go there, Fin," Olivia snapped.

"Just…" Fin sighed and looked at the ceiling, then he met her eyes again, "…could do a hella lot better, you know?"

Olivia smiled and shook her head, "Please, Fin, can we just not do this."

Fin nodded. "Barba and Noah okay?" Although in his mind, this was not entirely changing the subject.

"Noah really likes him, and Rafael's actually very good with him...I have no idea how that happened…" She laughed softly and shook her head, happy to have moved on to a more comfortable subject.

"He cares 'bout you, Liv…" Fin observed and looked up to see Elliot approaching.

"Can I have a minute?" Elliot ignored Fin and looked straight at Olivia.

"Now?" She asked and brushed her fingers through her hair again, clearly a little uncomfortable.

"Liv…"

Olivia sighed and stood, "Just a few minutes," she said tersely and looked back at Fin, "...any news at all, I want you to call me. I won't be far..."

Fin nodded and watched Elliot closely as they walked away.

* * *

"We need to talk..." Elliot said as they walked outside into the cool night air.

"Maybe a few years ago we needed to talk," Olivia looked up at the sky and sighed, "But now? Now I'm not so sure what is left to say."

Elliot leaned on a brick wall and sighed, "So you can just push all that aside? All our history?"

"History, El. You've been gone a long time...my life has changed...I've changed," Olivia explained with calm resignation. "I'm not the same woman I was when you walked away. Maybe that's partly because you walked away...but we've all moved on while you were gone."

He sighed an ran his hand over his head, "Look, I understand that and I am sorry. It's just seeing you tonight, it's been so long and…sure everything has changed...but it doesn't mean that everything has to be lost."

"This can't just pick up where it left off, Elliot. Our friendship, our partnership...you made choices, choices that have _repercussions." _She looked him in the eyes now and shook her head sadly, "I can't work through that, El, I trusted you completely and then you betrayed me in a way that I'd never even conceived was possible."

He turned to face her now so that Olivia's back was against the wall. Elliot's hand came up to tuck some hair behind her ear, he looked at her with such affection that her eyes welled with tears. "What we had from day one...I know that you felt that..."

She nodded and licked her lips, "You know I did."

"Everything we went through, that can't count for nothing..." He stepped closer and Olivia felt her heart pounding in her chest.

"What about everything that's happened since? Everything that you weren't there for? We can't reset the clock," She whispered softly, mesmerised by his eyes as he edged forward.

"We could start again? We could go slow. You can tell me everything. We used to talk, Liv, we'd talk for hours. I've never talked to anyone the way I talked to you - about the big stuff, the small stuff, about everything..."

He was so close she could smell his scent now, so familiar...and so evocative that her knees buckled a little.

"Liv, we have nothing in our way any more. You must know that I've always..."

"No...please..." Olivia murmured and closed her eyes, "...please don't."

"I've _always_ loved you, Liv," He pledged resolutely.

She shook her head, but then suddenly his lips were on hers. She gasped and pushed back against him, her hands coming to his chest, then his lips and tongue pushed deeper. One hand sliding into her hair, the other down her back, tugging her against his broad body. She felt the heat of his burgeoning arousal against her and moaned…her head swam as a perversion of years of fantasies made her soften against him.

_Fuck._

_What was this?_

She let go for a second and groaned, melting into the kiss and bringing her arms around him. But then suddenly her whole body went on alert and tensed, she sobbed and aggressively pushed him away.

_"What the fuck?!"_ She hissed under her breath angrily, as her lips broke away from his and her brain started to register what was happening. Then she seemed to automatically glance to the right and saw the very last thing she was expecting...

Rafael Barba standing looking at them with four coffees in his hands...and a stunned look on his face.

_TBC…_


	4. Did He Hurt You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments on the previous chapter, they really made me laugh!  
Hope this one goes a little way to fixing the situation...

Olivia was grudgingly willing to admit that she was enamoured of Elliot Stabler from the start. He was attractive, charming, quick-witted and treated her with respect. He could be a hard-ass and she'd witnessed him come down heavy on a number of perps over the years...but he treated her with a level of decency she had never really experienced.

It was easy to fall into their partnership and while Olivia respected his marriage it rarely infiltrated their own…because in so many ways that's what it felt like, a union, a relationship based on trust and mutual admiration.

She'd prided herself on their partnership – they had something unique, others saw it and she excelled in it.

To a point.

It was only after it had evaporated before her eyes that Olivia had come to realise that this relationship she'd relied on so much had stunted and held her back.

Her life was on hold – waiting to start. While his life was always moving forward.

When he'd left she'd been heartbroken...but then she'd been free to look outside the all-consuming intensity of their relationship and find so much more.

A new partner. New trust. New friends. A family.

Her son.

Everything that had allowed her to grow...and lead her life and career to expand beyond her wildest dreams.

Saying goodbye to Nick had been hard - but he had been ready to move on and she had been ready to keep moving forward.

Then right next to her for so much of this journey had been Rafael Barba. Her friend, her support, her sounding board, her warrior…

_Her partner._

She looked into his eyes now and saw the anguish there.

Olivia watched a mask drop over Barba's expression and _that_ hurt…possibly even more than the pain she'd seen seconds before.

Now Barba actually smiled...a tight smile that pretended to reach his eyes but didn't. "Sorry to interrupt…" he tried to joke but it fell flat. "I finished up my work and Lucy had an hour…so I thought you might all need some coffee that didn't taste like it had been passed through a urinary catheter."

Her friend was in full 'ADA Barba' mode now and it..._really fucking stung._

"Rafa, we were just…" Olivia started to explain.

Barba held up his hand and smiled, but she could still see the pain in his eyes. "I don't need the details, Liv, this isn't a case brief."

"I just…" Olivia tried and then she was cut off again.

"Doctor came back…" Fin said as he walked out through the main doors. Then he stopped and looked between the three of them. He held Olivia's eyes for a second but then continued, "Munch is awake and doing well."

Olivia let out a long breath and dropped forward in relief, her palms resting on her thighs. She felt a warm hand on her back and looked up to see Elliot next to her.

"Don't fucking touch me!" She snapped.

Fin saw both of the men who were watching her look shocked.

Elliot stepped away with his hands up defensively and Barba stood still.

"I should probably go…" Barba said finally and held the coffees out to Fin.

_"No!"_ Olivia said abruptly. Surprising everyone. "If I call Lucy and ask her to sleepover maybe you could stay?"

Barba frowned and looked at Elliot, then he stared back at Olivia. "You want me to stay? Why? Munch is doing okay and…"

_"Please…" _She entreated breathlessly.

Everyone seemed a little alarmed and confused by the exchange.

Barba's eyes narrowed at Elliot. He had assumed the context of the kiss based on what he'd heard of Olivia and Stabler's shared history, but had he badly misjudged this situation?

"You okay, Liv?" Fin asked.

She nodded quickly, unsure of what was going through her head right now but only certain that she couldn't bear the thought of Rafael Barba walking away.

Barba stepped closer, tilting his head slightly and looking into her eyes properly for the first time since he'd arrived.

"It's just been a long day...and I've been _so_ worried…and everything else has built up and…" She stuttered out.

Barba couldn't remember if he'd ever seen her look so disorientated and upset. "Listen, if you need me to stay then I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

She suddenly let out a loud sob and Elliot looked on with an alarmed expression as Olivia threw herself at the ADA. She wrapped her arms around Barba tightly and buried her face into his shoulder, breathing in his familiar and calming scent.

Barba looked stunned, but then returned her embrace and whispered softly into the curve of her neck. "Everything is going to be okay, Liv. Munch is okay…everything is okay. I'm here…whatever you need... I'm here for you, Cariño, I swear."

A little alarmed by her own reaction Olivia sobbed again and gripped him tighter, "Please don't leave me…"

Elliot was far from stupid; he knew _p_eople and the meaning behind her words hit him straight away. He closed his eyes and shook his head in resignation.

Barba was getting really worried now; he'd never seen Olivia like this. He looked up at Fin who looked equally confused. Then he looked to Elliot Stabler and frowned when he noticed that he seemed far less alarmed. His hand came up to protectively rest on the back of Olivia's head and he glared at him fiercely, "What the hell is going on here? Did you hurt her?" Barba seethed.

Elliot let out a long breath and looked away, then he rallied and looked back at Barba. "I think I did - maybe more than I'd realised."

Barba still held Olivia tightly in his arms and waited.

"I think I need to…" Elliot glanced at Fin with a looked of genuine pain on his face, "…give Munch my best? Tell him I'm happy he's doin' okay…"

Fin looked surprised, "You're not stayin'?"

"Think I should do what I do best..." Fin raised an eyebrow and Elliot glanced at Olivia and then back to him. "I need to walk away, man. I'm not the one needed here anymore...and that's on me."

"Stabler…" Fin started to speak.

Elliot shook his head; "We all pay the price for our actions eventually, right? So I guess it's time for me to live with mine." He seemed to hover for a few seconds, maybe part of him was longing for her to speak up, to tell him that he'd read this situation wrong and ask him to stay. But he watched Olivia's face bury deeper into her friend's shoulder. Refusing to even look at him.

"Be happy, Liv…" He said softly, then turned and walked away.

* * *

"Liv," Barba whispered a little nervously, still unsure what was happening. He combed his fingers gently through her hair. "Olivia, he's leaving…" He watched the man walk down the sidewalk and around the corner out of sight.

Her grip on him tightened further and Barba looked over at Fin. "Can you find out when we can go in to see Munch? Then maybe give us a few minutes?"

Fin nodded, frowned at Olivia with concern, but then walked away.

"Liv…" Barba whispered again and pulled back a little.

She slowly peeled away from her friend but remained in physical contact.

"Did he hurt you? Was he hurting you?" Barba asked with concern and fear in his eyes. Horrified that he could have been feeling so jealous while she was in any sort of pain.

She shook her head quickly, "He took me by surprise, but he didn't hurt me…he would never hurt me…not like that. It just took me a second to realise that it wasn't what I wanted anymore."

"Then he backed off?" Barba checked quietly.

She nodded, "I pushed him away and then I saw you…"

"Olivia, talk to me…" He tried again.

"He was so important to me, Rafa, for so fucking long…" tears came to her eyes and she shook her head with frustration, "…and I loved him so much."

Barba nodded patiently - encouraging her to go on even though her words felt like they were stabbing into his heart.

Olivia laughed humourlessly, "You know, I've never actually said that out loud before? I was in love with Elliot Stabler," she repeated more clearly. She took a breath, her hands still gripping surprisingly tightly onto Barba's biceps. "He was married, he had kids, and our work was really hard…as you know. His wife..." she laughed and rolled her eyes, "…didn't fully understand that. That's such a fucking cliché isn't it? That his wife didn't understand him! With hindsight, I was so naive. I waited…not always knowingly…but I _did_ wait. Then one day he just walked away. Away from the job, away from me. Not even a goodbye...nothing."

Barba nodded again, listening to her words intently. He brought his hand up to gently brush tears off her cheeks with his thumb.

"I've never felt like that, Rafael, that overwhelming heartbreak…and all for a man I'd never even kissed."

Barba winced – had that been the first time he'd even kissed her?

"I'd never let anyone in like that before." She took her hands away from his arms and rubbed them down her own, almost as if she were cold. "He was inside me…deep to my core. My nerves were bared, Rafa, and then he cut so fucking deep that I didn't even know how to start moving on from the pain."

Barba swallowed hard at the anguish he could see so evidently in her eyes. "You couldn't face that pain again?" He said empathetically. Silently acknowledging that a similar pain and fear were growing inside him every single day that he was near her.

Olivia shook her head emphatically and fell against her friend, wrapping her arms around him as he surrounded her in his warmth again. "I didn't think I could ever open myself up that completely again, Rafa. That I could ever be that vulnerable…" she muttered into his shoulder.

"So you pushed him away…" Barba whispered understandingly as he wrapped his arms around her, almost as though trying to physically protect her from the pain.

Olivia gripped him tighter and shook her head. "God, no…" she sobbed into his jacket, "…this time I _refuse_ to let you go."

_TBC..._


	5. Going Home

All of the oxygen seemed to have left Barba's lungs as his mind tried to catch up and process what Olivia had just said.

"Wait…what?" His hand trailed up to her neck and into her hair, then he put a little space between them and bent a little to look into her eyes. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

"I saw the look on your face after he kissed me. That mask of acceptance. You were going to walk away…" She said and shook her head with resignation.

"From you? Never. I just needed..." His heart was beating quickly now, he could see the fear and love swirling in her dark eyes, and it was mind-blowing, "…it hurt, Liv, I needed some space to process."

"Opening my heart to you took so much more of me this time, I'm not sure I could do that again," she looked away and his heart simultaneously broke and rebuilt.

"You'll _never _have to," Barba stated confidently.

Olivia looked up at him again and narrowed her eyes a little, unsure of what that meant. "I thought I wanted him, Rafa, but I understand now that that whole situation was toxic...when he walked away it felt like he took half of me with him."

Barba shook his head firmly, "You've never needed anyone to make you feel whole, Liv. You're extraordinary, you couldn't possibly be defined by anyone else."

She smiled, "I know who I am now and I know what I need...I need you."

Hearing Olivia say that she needed him pushed his self-control over the edge and he stepped forward. His hands came to the side of her face as his lips covered hers. They kissed breathlessly; tasting, nipping, teasing, flirting…exploring and falling into each other in a way both of them had long stopped believing could ever be possible.

Suddenly a loud cough broke through into Barba's consciousness.

"You guys have any need for oxygen or…?" Fin's taunting voice brought them back to earth and they tried to peel apart slowly.

The visible shock at what had just happened was painted all over their faces...and their eyes were simultaneously dark and hungry with the realisation of how perfect this felt.

"Dios…" Barba uttered against her lips.

Fin laughed again. "Munch is ready for visitors…" he rolled his eyes at them both with obvious amusement, "…that is if you two can bear to break this up?"

Olivia stepped back and ran her hand through her messed up hair. She shook her head and let out a long sigh, her eyes never leaving Barba's. "Hmmmmm…yeah…of course…"

Fin nodded toward the door, "208 - when you're both ready."

They nodded but didn't move, still not even glancing at their friend.

Fin walked away with a smirk on his face.

"Just in case I wasn't clear, or I left any room for doubt, I…" Olivia started.

Barba placed two fingers on her lips. "Te amo, siempre, Olivia Benson...it never needs to be more complicated than that."

Olivia laughed with happiness and relief...then rested her forehead against his.

* * *

Inside the hospital, Fin walked into Munch's room and smiled at his friend lying in bed.

"Thanks for coming," Munch whispered softly with a genuine but tired smile.

Fin walked to the side of his bed and rested his hand on his friend's forearm. "Liv's here too, although she might be a few minutes. You'll not believe the drama that's been goin' down out there while you were sleeping. I'd say our girl's in love..."

Munch smiled and closed his eyes. "Don't tell me..." he murmured weakly, "...he has a penchant for ridiculous ties and expensive scotch?"

"Objection..." A voice said smoothly from the doorway.

Munch opened his eyes, noted Barba's outer fingers linked in a loose handhold with Olivia as he walked towards him, then smiled and closed his eyes again. "To what are you objecting, counsellor?" He asked drowsily.

"For whatever reason, I assume you're talking about me. My scotch may never be cheap but my ties are always stunning..." Barba spoke firmly but with genuine warmth as they walked around to face Fin on the other side of the bed.

Munch smiled with drowsy amusement.

"How are you feeling?" Olivia asked softly as she slipped her free hand into his.

He hummed, "Been better...but could definitely be worse. I guess if we're talking about the proverbial glass vessel I'd calculate half full," Munch's eyes opened for a few seconds in order to smile affectionately at his old friend. "It's _always_ good to see you, Liv."

She smiled, "And you have no idea how good it is to see you."

"Nurse said you've both been here a while...and..." He paused and glanced at Barba, as if unsure he should go on.

Olivia nodded, "Yes, Elliot was here for a while, I guess you could say we've kept ourselves busy working through some old demons while we were waiting."

Munch chuckled and then winced in pain. He was silent for a few seconds but then took a steady breath and spoke again, "So, I hear someone might be in love? I believe I was promised gossip..."

Fin smiled at them both guiltily and shrugged.

Olivia laughed softly and then leaned into Barba side a little and tightened their fingers, "Well I'd hope more than _one_ of us is," she teased.

A nurse walked in and smiled at them all, "I assume you must be Lieutenant Benson?"

"Susan?" Olivia asked and then almost reluctantly stepped away from Barba in order to shake her hand. "Thank you so much for calling me this morning."

The nurse nodded, "I'm just pleased to see you all here. Although, I'm afraid I can't allow too many visitors for long..."

"I could leave...?" Barba suggested quickly.

Olivia stepped back to his side, ignoring his suggestion but nodding understandingly at the nurse. "Of course..." She looked over at Fin, "Do you want to stay awhile? I can go home, check-in on Noah and then come back in the morning?"

"Sounds good..." he agreed and walked to pull up a chair.

"Fin, you don't need to..." Munch started to contend weakly.

"Hey, we can catch up...I'll head home in a few hours and catch some z's," Fin assured as he sat down.

Munch nodded - too tired to argue.

Olivia walked back to Munch's bedside and took his hand again. "I'll see you in the morning," she whispered softly and then surprised him by leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. "Don't be doing this to me again, you scared the shit out of me..." she whispered fiercely and squeezed his hand.

Munch laughed and then nodded, looking a little emotional, "Thanks..." He looked over at Barba, "Make sure you take care of this one."

Barba shrugged and then glanced at Olivia, "How about we take care of each other?"

Olivia, Munch and Fin all smiled at that.

Munch nodded, "That sounds like a wise plan..." Then his eyes closed and he fell asleep.

"Take a couple of days," Olivia told Fin firmly. "I've already called and cleared it with Dodds...he's insisted that I take some time too."

"Sure boss," Fin nodded.

* * *

As they walked towards the door, Olivia linked her arm with Barba's and leaned into his side. She closed her eyes sleepily, resting her head on his shoulder and allowing him to guide her along.

He looked at her with concern, "Tired?"

She smiled, "I had two hours sleep before the nurse woke me at home...then maybe another two on the bench out here...and a whole lot of stress."

Barba squeezed her hand, "A good nights sleep and you'll be fine."

"Come home with me?" Olivia asked.

Barba looked surprised.

"We could talk a while?" She suggested.

"Cariño, I don't want you to think that we need to tackle us now. I'm not going anywhere. If you need some space...some rest...anything..." He rushed to assure her.

She stopped and turned to face him, then placed her palm on his chest. "Rafa, I'd really like to take my best friend home with me. I want to eat some pizza and late-night ice cream, have a shower and then fall asleep wrapped in your arms. Think we could do that?"

Barba nodded and stepped a little closer, "Mi Amor, you give me the chance and I think I could do that _every_ night for the rest of my life."

Olivia smiled and then turned to carry on walking, her fingers naturally linking loosely with his. "You know pizza every night might not be the healthiest life choice..."

He rolled his eyes.

"And I'm thinking I'd quite like to spend many nights doing a lot more than being wrapped in your arms...not that that isn't one of my new favourite places to be..."

"Cariño..." Barba warned with a smirk as he held out his hand to summon a cab.

"Although ending every night wrapped in your arms...that really does sound promising..." she smiled at him with a look of pure happiness as Barba opened the door for her.

"85?" He challenged with a little half-smirk.

She paused and looked back at him, then smiled affectionately and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "Now, wouldn't _that_ be nice..." she observed, before tugging him down into the cab with her.

* * *

When they arrived home Lucy smiled up at Olivia from her spot studying at the kitchen counter, then her eyes lit up a little when she saw Barba following not far behind.

"I didn't expect to see you both. I thought you were staying at the hospital?" She greeted Olivia.

"My friend took a turn for the better so I thought I'd come home - check-in on Noah and have a good night's sleep. I'm going back in the morning," Olivia explained.

"Do you still need me to pick Noah up from pre-school tomorrow?" Lucy asked, her eyes naturally flitting to Barba as well.

Olivia shook her head; "I'll make sure I leave the hospital in time to get him. I know you're busy right now, Lucy, so I appreciate you stepping-up today."

"I could take him in the morning..." Barba offered helpfully and then winced a little when he saw Lucy's smirk.

Olivia took it all in her stride though, she just smiled at his embarrassment as she walked over to the counter and put down her bag.

Lucy tried not to laugh. She liked all of Olivia's friends; they were often coming and going to the apartment when she looked after Noah. However, Mr Barba had always been her favourite…his dry humour made her laugh and she loved to watch how beautifully Noah responded to him.

She'd wondered for a while about their close friendship and couldn't help eying up the ADA as a potential daddy for her young friend…and it seemed like her hopes for the little boy could be realised.

"I'm going to head off," she announced and began to pack up her things, "…leave you both to enjoy what's left of your evening. I'm pleased your friend is improving, Olivia, goodnight…goodnight, Rafael…" She smiled a little shyly at Barba as she walked by.

They both said goodbye and then after she'd left Olivia smiled at Barba, "Rafael?"

"She was helping me look after Noah, I could hardly let her continue to call me 'Mr Barba'…" He smirked.

"I think maybe she has a little crush," Olivia teased.

Barba rolled his eyes, "I'm old enough to be her father, Liv!"

Olivia laughed, "She's at that age, the boys her age are losing their lustre and she's looking for a strong, wise," she walked over and teasingly ran her hand down his chest, "…sexy, man to look after her."

Barba coughed and looked endearingly flustered for a second - until a couple of hours ago he wasn't sure he'd ever see Olivia look at him the way she was looking at him right now.

"You okay?" Olivia teased.

"Of course, I just…this evening has been a lot to process…" He laughed a little.

"You're sure this is what you want, Rafa? I mean, I sort of threw all this at you. Everything with Munch...then Elliot's unexpected arrival. I guess I was a little emotionally raw and it all just spilt out. If I've pushed you…?" She looked a little uncomfortable.

"If you've_ pushed _me?" Barba laughed. "The woman of my dreams told me that she needs me, I assure you that the very last thing I feel right now is pushed. I think I'm just in shock."

Olivia laughed, but Barba also noticed a glimmer of tears in her eyes. "You're sure?" She confirmed nervously, "I couldn't bear to mess this up."  
  
Barba stepped forward more confidently now and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Oh, I want you. I've never been more sure about anything." He smiled and leaned to kiss her temple, then his lips trailed down the side of her face slowly as he edged her back against the kitchen cabinet. His hands came to her hips and his gaze burned into hers, "You must know by now that I'd do anything for you…"

Olivia grinned and rested her forehead against his, "So this is what? A really big favour?"

His eyes danced with love and humour, "Sure…" he teased with mock reluctance, "…what can I say, I'm a saint."  
  
She laughed and kissed him, bringing her arms up to wrap around his neck. "You know, all of a sudden, I'm not quite so tired…"

"Oh no?" He grinned against her lips.

"Uncle Rafa, what are you doing to Momma?" Noah asked sleepily from a few metres behind them.

Barba pulled back from the little boy's mother as if he'd been electrocuted. Olivia smiled at her nervous friend as he spun around and started to try to form a sentence.

"Noah, you're awake…I mean, you're here…I mean…"

She walked forward to pick up her son, "Hey, my sweet boy…did you wake up?"

"S'it mornin'?" He asked groggily and rested his head on her shoulder.

"No, baby, it's still bedtime…" Olivia explained and stroked her hand over his head.

"What were you and Uncle Rafa doing?" He asked again.

She smiled at Barba, who still looked amusingly rattled.

Olivia shook her head, telling him not to worry. "We were having a cuddle, baby. Momma's had a very difficult day, but Uncle Rafa has looked after me and made everything all better."

Noah smiled, "Is your friend okay now?"

She nodded and kissed his head, "He's feeling much better, baby, thank you. Uncle Rafa is going to have a sleepover, is that okay with you?"

Noah grinned drowsily at Barba, "You'll read me a story?"

Barba was still processing how easily Olivia had handled everything, and how comfortable she'd been introducing the idea of a sleepover.

"Maybe Uncle Rafa is a little tired…" Olivia started to excuse when he didn't answer straight away.

Barba shook his head quickly and stepped forward with his arms out. He watched as Olivia kissed Noah goodnight and then passed her son to him with a grateful smile. "You get a shower, get changed, whatever you want. Noah and I will be fine won't we amigo?"

Noah smiled up at him and then dropped his head onto his shoulder. "Uncle Rafa, I think _you're _my Momma's favourite...and I know I'm going to like sleepovers."

* * *

Half an hour later, Olivia walked out in her dressing gown to find Barba slicing open a toasted sandwich.

"That smells amazing!" Olivia said as she walked to stand next to him.

"I know you said pizza but I did some shopping with Noah on the way home from preschool...cheese, pork, ham, pickles, mustard…the perfect medianoche." He kissed her temple and moved the sandwiches onto a plate.

Olivia picked one up, took a bite and then groaned, "Oh my God, Rafa, this is _gorgeous!"_

He smiled, already knowing that she'd love them. "Want to get comfortable?"

She nodded then followed when he picked up two beers and the plate, before walking around to sit on the couch.

They sat with Olivia curled into his side. Barba held the plate in his lap and she rested her head on his shoulder as they both silently ate their way through their evening snack.

"I'm in love with these sandwiches…" Olivia smiled as she finished off the final mouthful then nuzzled against his neck and breathed in his scent.

"So is this going to be a _thing _now?" Barba asked contentedly, he genuinely couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so warm and peaceful. Had he ever?

"Squabbling, cuddling on the couch and eating late night medianoche at 85?" Olivia grinned and took the now empty plate from his lap. She bent forward, deposited it on the coffee table and then picked up their beers and passed him one.

"Maybe a little place down the coast…" Barba suggested serenely then took a sip of his beer.

"I like that…" She approved. "We haven't even…" she looked at him hungrily and licked her lips, "…we haven't even had sex yet and we're already considering our retirement plans."

"We're written into each other's futures, mi Amor," he kissed her lips gently.

Olivia smiled and stroked her hand down his chest, "I knew you'd be a secret romantic."

"I guess romance is in my Latino blood…" He smirked.

"My history with romance has never been good. So maybe I've finally earned this…with you…" She looked into his warm green-eyes and felt so safe.

He regarded her a little sadly, "I don't have the best track record with relationships, Cariño."

Olivia smiled more confidently now. Then she took his bottle and placed them both on the table before lifting her leg over to straddle his lap.

"We've both been hurt. We're both gun shy. But I think we're also both to old not to work like hell to make sure that this works. You're my closest friend, my partner…" she shifted a little on his lap and ran her hands over his shoulders, "…and you're so fucking sexy…" She kissed down the side of his neck and heard him groan quietly as his hands came up to firmly grip her waist. "We've never had better odds than this, Rafa. Our histories don't matter now; this is the only relationship that has to work. Us. This only has to happen once."

_TBC..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a crazy 4/5 weeks coming up.  
This story will definitely be updated (maybe even sporadically during that time) but I thought I'd write in a midpoint pre-hiatus happy 'ending'.


	6. Chocolate Pudding

Barba woke slowly, his eyes still closed as his mind tried to adjust to the unfamiliar…

Something was different...

Suddenly his eyes blinked open when he felt something trailing down his nose.

He looked to the side and saw Noah smiling at him, his fingertips now gently tracing over his cheek.

"You sleepin', Uncle Rafa?" He asked and tilted his head curiously.

Barba blinked again and glanced down to find Olivia sleeping curled next to him, wedged between him and the back of the couch. She smiled in her sleep and snuggled tighter into his side, breathing in deeply.

He looked back at Noah who was watching them both patiently.

"I guess your momma and I were talking and fell asleep," Barba said quietly his hand subconsciously trailing from Olivia's upper arm to her shoulder.

"Momma said you made _everything_ better last night…I remember that. I like it when you're here, Uncle Rafa," Noah observed tightening his grip on his stuffed elephant.

Barba was taken aback by his words; childhood honesty could be a little alarming, especially first thing in the morning. "I…thank you, Noah. I really enjoy being here."

Noah's smile widened, "Uncle Rafa, I'm hungry."

Barba looked at the time and raised his eyebrows. Then he carefully slid out from underneath Olivia, he pulled a cushion out to rest under her head and stroked her hair soothingly as she settled again.

"Let's leave your momma to have a lie-in, I think we've got this morning thing down now don't we, amigo?" Barba suggested and held out his hand.

Noah took it happily and nodded as they walked towards his bedroom. "I think Momma was very tired last night..."

* * *

An hour later, Barba bent down next to the couch and stroked his fingers through Olivia's hair, "Cariño…"

She murmured and stirred a little.

"Cariño, I'm taking Noah to school and then I need to go to work, I'm in court this afternoon summing up on a case that carried over from last week."

Olivia's eyes opened sharply and she sat up, "Noah! School!"

Noah was standing next to Barba; fed, washed and ready for school. He giggled, "Momma, we're going to school."

She looked between the two of them with sleepy bewilderment, "Oh, Rafa! You didn't need to…" she started to say a little tearfully when she saw them both ready to leave.

"You needed your sleep," Barba said with gentle firmness. "I've cleaned up. I made you some pancakes before I woke you so they'll still be warm."

Olivia glanced over at the kitchen counter and saw a laid space, a plate of pancakes and berries, and what looked like freshly squeezed orange juice. "Rafa…" She said with shock and was alarmed to find tears springing to her eyes.

"We need to go," Barba said softly and glanced at Noah before compromising and leaning in to kiss her temple.

Olivia smiled and nodded, "I'll see you both…I mean…"

"Bye, Momma!" Noah said and hugged her tightly before happily taking his Uncle Rafa's hand, tugging him to his feet and then towards the door.

Rafael looked back at Olivia and shrugged as he was transported towards the exit. "I guess I'll see you…" His words trailed off.

"Yeah…" Olivia started, still shocked and dazed. "Thank you for…" She looked at her son and then the pancakes, then back at her friend, "…everything."

He nodded, "Give my best to Munch."

"I…" Olivia looked at Noah and smiled, then settled upon - "I love you...both."

Noah waved, not thinking much of the familiar goodbye.

Barba smiled broadly and nodded, "Yeah…" he was tugged down towards the door and almost out of sight, "…siempre…"

Suddenly they were gone and Olivia sat on the couch in shock for a few seconds before she lay back and grinned.

* * *

Her pancakes were perfect. She suspected Rafael Barba aimed for excellence in all things.

All things, she thought with a smile as she walked into Munch's room.

He was sat up in bed this morning and looked a lot more alert.

"Someone looks happy…" Munch observed teasingly.

"Someone got up early to get my son ready while I had a lie-in, then made me pancakes and took him to school…" Olivia said with a slight 'schoolgirl crush' smile on her face.

"So a certain ADA stayed over?" Munch teased.

"We talked, he made me food, we fell asleep on the couch…" Olivia smiled happily. "I know the appearance he can give off to the world, Munch, but he really is a very sweet man. He's…_kind."_

Munch smiled warmly now, "You deserve kind. More than anyone else I know, Olivia, you deserve kindness."

She was surprised to find tears spring to her eyes for the second time that morning. She slipped her hand into her friend's as she sat on the edge of his bed. "What would we have done if we'd lost you?" She said softly.

Munch smiled and shook his head, "I'm good, I promise."

They sat in silence for a few seconds.

"So…" Munch said expectantly.

"So?" Olivia asked.

"I only heard so much from Fin, I want details," Munch told her firmly.

Olivia laughed, "About Barba and I?"

Munch nodded, "I'm stuck in a hospital bed, I'm really bored…"

"So what? I'm the entertainment?" She laughed again and rolled her eyes.

"Better than daytime TV," He nodded at the dark TV in the corner.

Olivia sighed, "What do you want to know?"

* * *

A few hours later, Olivia walked into the back of the courtroom and sat near the door. She couldn't remember the last time she'd just visited court on her day off. She wasn't even sure she was familiar with the case.

Her eyes scanned Rafael Barba as he spoke to the jury, there was something about ADA Barba in courtroom mode that really turned her on. She tried to hide her smirk – hell, there was a lot about Barba that turned her on in any given occasion.

She glanced around and noted other people watching him. ADA Barba had a presence…an indescribable allure that captured attention and stole focus in any room he was in. Olivia felt her heart swell with pride – he's mine, she thought possessively and then smiled again at her own thoughts.

She didn't notice him look at her, but she knew the second he noticed her presence out of the corner of his eye. He'd turned to pick up some papers from the desk, she noticed the corner of his mouth turn up slightly in an almost imperceptible smile and then when he turned back to face the jury she felt almost sure he stood a little straighter.

Olivia licked her bottom lip and then grazed her teeth over it softly.

"Love…" Rafael continued firmly, "…love is not about possession. We know that" he looked at the jury directly, "…love is not about control. Do not let the defence convince you that what happened on the 14th February was an act of passion. Daniel Clarke raped and then stabbed his wife Jennifer 14 times before leaving the city to go on a golf retreat. The defence put together a convincing case arguing that Mr Clarke was so overcome by grief after discovering his wife's affair that he was acting in a moment of insanity, followed by a very convenient psychotic break. Ladies and gentleman, Mr Clarke is not crazy. Mr Clarke was furious, Mr Clarke was jealous, Mr Clarke was outraged by his wife's decision to end there marriage and he set about ensuring that she never could."

Rafael glanced over at Olivia and then back at the jury, "That is not love, that is not passion…we cherish love…we lay down our own lives to protect it. Mr Clarke is a good actor and he showed you a lot of emotion on the stand last week, but his only concern was to protect who he truly loves - to protect himself from incarceration. I ask you to find Daniel Clarke guilty of the rape and murder of his wife Jennifer Clarke. Thank you."

* * *

The case had finished up for the day and Barba glanced over at Olivia between the crowds of people filing out of the courtroom. He packed up his things, said a few polite goodbyes and then walked towards his friend.

"Hey," he said softly as they came close, "…didn't expect to see you here today."

Olivia glanced at his lips, suddenly wishing that she was allowed to kiss him, and then looked into his eyes. "I was on my way home from the hospital. So I thought I'd visit you as well…"

Barba nodded and then smiled a little, he glanced around and saw a colleague grinning at them. Noticing how close they were standing he took a reluctant step back.

"Did you need anything?" He asked.

"I'd _like_ to kiss you, but I guess that would be unprofessional…" She teased quietly; knowing that no one was near enough to hear what she was saying.

Barba rolled his eyes, "No…" he smiled and looked at her lips, "I love that it's even a possibility though."

Olivia laughed softly and felt one of his fingers slowly trail up the back of her hand. "Actually, I did want something…"

Barba nodded amenably.

"I just wanted to check that I'll be seeing you tonight…we didn't exactly have time to make any plans this morning."

"You want me to come over?" Barba confirmed.

"I want to see you," Olivia nodded. "I'm going home now, Noah will be in bed by 7…we could talk, maybe watch a movie…make out a little?"

His eyes glowed, "Sounds perfect."

"You're sure?" She checked. "Yesterday, this morning, I don't want to assume or…"

His fingers tickled over her wrist lightly. "I love you, Olivia Benson," he whispered softly.

"Yeah, you do don't you…" She smiled broadly and then glanced around the nearly empty courtroom and schooled her expression. "That's good...because I think you're pretty great as well."

"Pretty great?" Barba asked with mock offence.

She turned to see the last member of the public leave, checked that the court officials were busy and then in a moment of madness leaned in to quickly brushed his lips with hers.

No one saw a thing but Barba looked stunned.

She stepped away and turned to leave, then looked back over her shoulder from a few feet away and mouthed, "Te adore," before slipping out of the door leaving Barba with a dumbfounded smile on his face.

As Olivia reached the steps she felt her phone vibrate, she opened it and beamed.

**RAFAEL BARBA  
** **\- You're incredible, see you in a couple of hours R x**

* * *

Noah was sat at the table with his Lego when he heard the knock at the door.

"Do you know who that might be?" Olivia asked with a smile.

"Uncle Rafa?" He asked excitedly.

"Maybe…" She teased. "Now if you check nicely, and it is Uncle Rafa, would you like to answer the door?"

Noah grinned, "Really?"

"What did I say?" Olivia checked.

"Ask nicely and only Uncle Rafa is allowed to come in," Noah said earnestly.

"Well…if it isn't Uncle Rafa just come and get me," Olivia clarified with a smile as she continued making her pasta.

Noah nodded and ran for the door.

There was another light knock as he arrived.

"Hello?" Noah asked through the door. "Are you Uncle Rafa?"

He heard a light chuckle, "Hey, Noah. Yes…do you need to go and get your momma?"

The door was slowly unlatched and carefully slid open, then a little face appeared around the corner. "I am allowed to answer the door, Uncle Rafa, but only if it is you."

Barba smiled and nodded, "Well, I'm very glad, I wouldn't want to wait out here all night, would I?"

Noah laughed, "You're silly, Uncle Rafa, you wouldn't wait out here all night!"

He stepped in and dropped down so he was level with the small boy, "For you and your Momma? I think I might wait all night."

Noah laughed again and then wrapped his arms around his friend's neck. "You'll play Lego with me?" He asked as Barba lifted him and walked through to the living area.

Barba saw Olivia in the kitchen and smiled at her affectionately.

"Uncle Rafa, Lego!" Noah tried to attract his attention.

"Noah, be polite…I haven't even said hello to Uncle Rafa yet," Olivia said softly to her son.

"Sorry, Momma," Noah apologised as Barba moved to place him on the floor.

"You go play, amigo, I'll be there in a minute…" Barba suggested.

Noah nodded happily and ran towards his Lego.

"Hey," Barba said softly, smiling at Olivia as he walked to stand next to her, his fingers sliding and entangling with hers.

"Hey," Olivia parroted with a smile. She glanced at Noah and seeing that he was safely engrossed with his toys leaned in and kissed his jaw. "You're earlier than I expected…" She observed and slipped her hand away in order to return to dinner preparation.

"I…" Barba rolled his eyes and then admitted, "I might have left a little early."

"Rafael Barba ducking out of work early for a date? It must be serious…" Olivia teased.

"As serious as it gets," he teased in reply, but then they shared a long look.

"So…you're cooking?" Barba tried to change the subject to something a little more 'Noah Safe'.

Olivia smiled and nodded, "Spaghetti Bolognaise, and as it's a special occasion I'm even making fresh pasta."

"What's the special occasion?" He asked, genuinely interested.

Olivia laughed, glanced at Noah again and then leaned in to kiss him, "You!"

He looked surprised and Olivia nudged him teasingly with her shoulder, "Go play with Noah or he'll be back over here to find out where you are…we can't let him know the truth - that you're my play-date, not his."

Barba's head was still swimming a little, "What do we do about Noah finding out, about us I mean?"

She shook her head, "I was joking, Rafa, I'm happy for Noah to know about us whenever you are…" Olivia looked at him seriously now, "I'm in this for the long-haul, sweetheart. But you need to be sure. That little boy thinks the world of you."

"I think the world of him, 'Liv…and his mom…" Barba assured firmly, running his hand to the small of her back and leaning in a little, his nose nuzzling into her hair, with her feet bare he was slightly taller.

"Go play with Noah…unwind from work a little…unless you want a shower or something?" Olivia checked.

"Do I smell?" He asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, amazing…" She kissed his neck and then breathed in a little, "…but you always smell amazing."

His fingers slipped into the back of her pants a little and Olivia sucked in a short breath. "You're…staying over?" She checked a little breathlessly.

"That's okay? What about Noah?" Barba checked.

"You don't need to worry about that, he would have you over every night, Rafa…" she looked up and saw her son smiling at them.

"I meant..." He started.

"I know what you meant," She grinned. "We'll just have to be…quiet."

"Dios, 'Liv…" He replied sharply and licked his lips.

"Maybe next weekend I could get Lucy to sleep over? We could stay at yours? Have some time alone?" She suggested softly.

"I'm having a sleepover with Lucy?" Noah asked from the table and they both stepped apart quickly, shocked that his hearing was so good and that the little boy was clearly taking more notice than he appeared to be.

"Erm…yes, maybe…does that sound good?" Olivia asked, she smiled at Barba and rolled her eyes.

"I'd like that," Noah nodded and continued to build. "Are you coming to play with me, Uncle Rafa?"

Barba nodded quickly and walked to sit on the floor next to the table. "What are we playing?" He asked willingly.

"Castles…you can help with mine if you want, I don't think you will have time to build your own before dinner," Noah pushed some bricks towards him.

"Thank you, Noah," Barba smiled and they started building.

"You're having a sleepover again tonight?" Noah asked.

"Is that okay with you?" Barba checked.

Noah nodded contently, "I like when you sleepover."

They worked, happily talking about their build for a few minutes and then Noah paused and looked at his friend thoughtfully, "I saw Momma kiss you here," he pointed at his jaw. "Momma looks different, she's smiling a lot…and sometimes she laughs for no reason…and then…" he tilted his head a little, "…you look at Momma funny, Uncle Rafa…and Momma…she looks at you the same way Blake at school looks at his Momma's really special chocolate pudding!"

Barba laughed, partly out of nerves and partly from genuine amusement. He looked up to see Olivia smiling at him. _No help from you then, Cariño?_ He thought with a nervous chuckle. Barba looked back at Noah and asked gently. "Did you want to ask me a question?"

"Uncle Rafa, do you love my Momma like chocolate pudding?" Noah asked seriously.

Barba laughed and shook his head, "You know what, I think I love your Momma even more than chocolate pudding!" He whispered.

_"Really?"_ Noah asked, clearly impressed.

"Really," Barba confirmed. He looked up at Olivia and saw her smiling at him. "You saw your Momma kiss me because we have decided to start dating. Do you know what that means?"

Noah nodded a little sadly, "It means that you'll go out a lot and I will have to stay at home."

"We might go out occasionally, and Lucy will come to visit with you…but sometimes you will come out with us, and sometimes we can all stay in together, just like tonight. Dating isn't just about going out, Noah. I love your Momma very much, and I care for you very much as well, and if it's okay with you I thought we could all spend a lot more time together."

Noah smiled, "I'd like that a lot, Uncle Rafa."

"Thank you," Barba said warmly and ran his hand over Noah's hair. "Is there anything else you'd like to ask me? Or your Momma? Anything you aren't sure about?"

"One day, if I'm very good…might we all live together? Like a proper family?" Noah asked inquisitively.

Barba heard Olivia make a noise and he glanced over at her, she looked a little panicked and he saw her mouth an urgent apology. He looked back at Noah and smiled, "That is something that takes a little time, and needs to be talked about and decided between grown-ups first…but I promise we will also talk to you too. We need to get used to these changes first, okay? Spending more time together, getting to know each other a little better. Is that okay?"

Noah nodded, "That's okay, Uncle Rafa."

Olivia walked around to kneel next to Noah, "You're sure you're happy about this, sweet boy?"

Noah grinned and then smiled at them both, "I'm very happy. Uncle Rafa tells good bedtime stories, he is also good at castle building…" he looked back at Olivia and added, "…and he makes you smile bigger."

_TBC..._


	7. The Beginning

Barba walked through to Noah's bedroom and stood in the doorway, he saw Olivia turning on a box by his bed.

"What's that?" He asked quietly, glancing at Noah to make sure that he wasn't stirring in his sleep.

"His baby monitor," Olivia smiled and her eyes danced, "I haven't used this in a while."

Barba shook his head, clearly not following.

Olivia walked towards him and rested her palms on his chest; she directed him out of the door and slid it closed behind her before directing Barba back against the wall, one hand slid slowly down to his ass. "I was thinking we should maybe lock my bedroom door, give ourselves a little privacy…I want us to be able to relax…" she kissed under his ear and then down his neck, "…but we need to be able to hear him if he needs us."

Barba's body reacted to her closeness, but his mind latched onto her words. "I love that you said us…" He nudged her face level with his.

She licked her lips and kissed him hungrily, their tongues searching and probing.

He broke away briefly, smiled, and then attacked with renewed vigour.

"How set are you on that movie idea?" Olivia muttered softly her hands already tugging at his shirt and slipping underneath.

"Movie?" Barba asked seriously and turned them quickly so that Olivia was now pressed against the wall. "What's a movie?" He murmured as his lips descended her throat.

She grinned and tilted her head back, "You feel _so_ good, Rafa."

He smiled against her collarbone; "We could…" he looked up and met her eyes, then glanced towards her bedroom.

"Well…" Olivia smiled coyly, "I did have a late night last night."

"I'm not planning on letting you get much sleep…" Barba smirked at her as his hand slid over her hip and then slipped behind her thigh, tugging it up to his waist.

Olivia gasped when she felt his solid cock against her core, her head dropped back and banged against the wall. "You swine…" she teased breathlessly and then bit her lip to stay quiet.

Her lips found his again and they fell into a deep languorous kiss.

"Dios…" Barba muttered against her mouth as they started to move towards the bedroom.

Olivia grinned and then leisurely sucked and nibbled on his bottom lip.

The door was pushed open with their body weight and then Olivia reached back, shut and locked the door.

"Receiver…" He mumbled against her lips as he pulled up her top and then quickly started on her pants.

"Already on…" Olivia confirmed breathlessly and then slipped her hand down to cup his impressive erection, "…but that you even thought of that right now…that is so fucking sexy…" she grinned and then kissed him slowly before starting work on his shirt.

Barba chuckled and then yelped a little when Olivia suddenly pushed him back and they both landed on the bed.

She climbed up to straddle his waist, "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to get you out of one of these suits."

He helped her tug off his shirt and then pulled off his undershirt. Their lips met again messily and Barba quickly disposed of her bra as Olivia worked on losing his pants. Teamwork.

His lips encircled one of her taut nipples and Olivia groaned and combed her fingers into his hair.

"Fuck, Rafa…" she gasped.

His tongue flicked at the little nub and he breathed in deeply. "El cielo…" he murmured his fingers trailing down Olivia's spine and into the band of her pants.

She suddenly moved back and Barba automatically went to pull her against him.

"Off…" She explained quickly and stumbled to her feet, kicking off her pants and socks before biting her lip in hesitation and then slipping off her underwear as well.

Barba's eyes never left hers as he rushed to toe-off his socks and then dispose of his pants and underwear in one go.

"Now we're getting somewhere…" Olivia joked happily and then shrieked when Barba rose up and pulled her down, rolling on top and covering her body.

"Shhhhhh, Cariño…you'll wake Noah…" he joked against her lips.

Olivia grinned and as she fell into a deep probing kiss she encouraged him in between her legs. She felt his solid length against her hot core and closed her eyes – overwhelmed by the moment.

"Te amor," Barba whispered, his voice suddenly sounding weak and a little tearful.

Olivia nodded, a tear slipped down her temple as she brought her hand to his neck, she leaned up to kiss his lips, "So much, sweetheart…"

He reached and moved himself to her slick entrance before slowly pushing home.

Their eyes remained linked, their foreheads resting together as they finally joined.

"Ahhh…" Olivia hummed and thrust upward toward her lover, "…you feel…God, nothing has felt this good."

Barba kissed her lips gently, pulling out a few inches and then filling her again. He noticed her wince a little and paused. "Cariño, are you...?"

Olivia smiled and shook her head quickly, "I feel amazing, you're just…" she rolled her eyes and then admitted, "…it's been a while and you're…a little bigger than I'm accustomed to."

He smirked.

Olivia grinned and then grazed his jaw with her teeth. "You're gorgeous," she added, her eyes glowing.

"Think that's my line," He smiled warmly, loving that even in this they were having fun…that they would always be _friends_ first_._

Suddenly Olivia rolled them and she straddled his waist. She lifted up and lowered herself onto him slowly, her eyes never leaving his.

She looked down at Barba lying beneath her. Her eyes skimmed his torso and noticed a long thin scar running over his shoulder and across his chest – she knew scars and this one was _old_. Her fingers traced the line gently and her eyes looked at him with obvious intrigue and concern.

He glanced away for a second and then met her gaze steadily.

"My father, I was 9…" He started.

Olivia leaned down, ignoring the tears springing to her eyes and stopping his words with a kiss. "I love you…" she whispered against his lips. She ran her hands over his chest as she moved over him languorously. "I love you," she whispered again. She had long suspected that her friend's natural empathy and intuitive understanding of victims was routed in experience, and that at least some of that originated from his father. She looked down at him sadly and stroked his cheek as a tear slipped down her face.

"I don't want your pity…" Barba said, more sharply than intended and then he looked away in shame.

Olivia hummed and brought his eyes back to hers. "This is not pity, Rafa. This is pain…this is sorrow…this is _love._ Just let me love you."

Words left them as Olivia leaned to kiss him and then slowly rolled her hips.

Barba gasped when he felt her core clench around him and then moved to sit up, wrapping his arms around her waist and then up her back. He brought up his knees and lay his feet flat on her bed, using the angle of their new position to thrust up.

Olivia gasped between breaths, her neck stretched back in desire as his lips kissed and licked up her taut skin.

He could tell she was close so moved his fingers between her legs and circled her clit vigorously.

She looked down as she continued to climb, the sight of Barba's fingers pleasuring her pushed Olivia towards the edge.

Just a few more strokes and Barba pushed up the bed, gripping her waist tightly in climax as Olivia followed quickly behind.

"'Liv…Olivia…" he gasped breathlessly as he bucked up against her damp, hot, listless body.

She fell forward as he dropped back against the bed - her face landed next to his neck, her lips and tongue blindly kissing and licking his skin. 'Rafael…" she whispered softly as her eyes closed.

* * *

Several minutes later, Olivia lay curled into his side with her head on his shoulder.

Barba's fingertips trailed up and down her back, he leaned forward and kissed her temple.

"Wow…" she whispered quietly.

"I'm sorry if I…" Barba started to speak.

Two of Olivia's fingers came to rest on his lips. "You were perfect."

"I…" He started again.

"He hurt you, sweetheart...and if he was still alive I'd hurt him myself…" She said simply her arms tightening around him.

Barba closed his eyes and tried to curl closer against her, her lips pressed against the side of his neck. "I've never felt this way about anyone, 'Liv. You and Noah. I never saw myself as a family man, I didn't want to…"

Olivia shook her head quickly, instinctively knowing what he was about to say, "You're not your father, Rafael Barba. You're the best man I've ever known…you spend your life protecting victims. I trust you implicitly, completely and without equivocation…I trust you with my life and with the life of my son."

"For what it's worth, Olivia, I'm yours…" He whispered softly and closed his eyes.

Olivia nuzzled the side of his face, "That's _everything."_

* * *

They woke early the next morning, both aware that the other was awake but content to silently trace and kiss each other's skin for about half an hour before finally speaking.

Barba lay with his head resting just below her chest, breathing deeply.

"I don't think I've ever felt this comfortable with anyone, yet nothing has ever meant more…somehow that seems like a contradiction," Barba observed softly, it was the first thing he'd said since the night before and Olivia couldn't help but laugh softly.

Her hand stroked over his hair, "Eres el amor de mi vida."

Barba breathed in deeply and turned to press his lips to her skin. "I have no idea how I got this lucky, but I'm not fighting it anymore."

They lay in silence for several minutes.

"I think I'm going to try and contact Elliot, maybe meet him for coffee," Olivia said thoughtfully.

"You're sure?" Barba checked.

"You don't think it's a good idea?" Olivia asked.

"It's not up to me," Barba said genuinely.

Olivia encouraged him to look up at her, "I'm not asking for your permission, Rafa. I value your opinion and I'm asking for your advice."

He smiled sadly, "He hurt you…"

She nodded in acknowledgement. "He did. But I've moved on now," she wiggled down the bed until they were level and kissed him. "Look what I have now…Noah…_you._ He did hurt me, but I wouldn't change a day, not if that road led me here."

"He hurt you again that night," Barba pointed out.

"He got carried away in the moment, Rafa. He wouldn't have hurt me…not like that…I promise," she assured.

Barba nodded, trusting her judgement but still uncomfortable.

"You're not worried? About me and Elliot?" Olivia asked with concern.

"I trust you, Cariño," he assured firmly. "I'm just not so sure about him."

Olivia nodded thoughtfully, "You're a smart man, you know you don't need to trust him…not if you trust me."

The corner of his mouth quirked up and he shrugged, "We always want to protect those we love, Olivia, even if they don't need it."

"I'll always need you," Olivia assured and curled closely against him, her lips kissed his neck as she reflected for a few seconds and then she tried to explain. "You have protected me, Rafa. You protected me by sharing your strength. You became my safety net. A safe place which I could retreat to when I felt overwhelmed."

He kissed her softly and she placed her hand over his heart before she continued.

"Loving him made me weaker, Rafa, I didn't see it at the time, but our relationship held me back. You always pushed me to be better. You had such faith in me…and when I see myself through your eyes I feel like I can achieve anything."

"You can, you don't need me, you're…" Barba started.

Olivia moved up to kiss him, stopping his words. "You're my best friend, my champion, my lover…" She smiled at him, a glimmer in her eyes, "You're gorgeous and you're all I want. He offered himself to me, Rafael…and in that moment, all I could see was you."

He smiled and brushed her hair back from her face. "Eres mi todo…"

Just as Barba moved in to kiss her they both heard a noise.

"Momma, Uncle Rafa…door is stuck…" then they heard a soft knock on the door. "Uncle Rafa, you sleep in with Momma?"

Olivia smirked at Barba and dropped her forehead against his collarbone. "One minute, Baby!" She called out loudly against his skin, then softly added, "You have half-an-hour, get a shower, I'll take care of him this morning…it's definitely my turn…"

He smiled up at her and then pushed up to kiss her temple, then her lips, as she moved away. "Love you, thank you for last might...for everything."

Her hand rested on his chest, "Trust me, it was _my _pleasure," she purred with a smile and a wink, then slipped out of bed to tend to her son.

_TBC..._


	8. Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on a roll! This should be all wrapped up by tomorrow... 😄

Olivia walked into the bar and immediately saw Elliot sitting in the far corner. 

He raised his hand and she walked over and slipped into the booth opposite him.

"I was surprised to hear from you," Elliot said in place of a greeting.

"It felt wrong to leave things as they were, after everything…unlike some people, I'm not a fan of unfinished business," she raised an eyebrow.

Elliot shrugged one shoulder and glanced around the room. He clearly felt uncomfortable. "I am sorry, you know? About the other night…I don't know what I was thinking, the years suddenly slipped away and I just…"

Olivia held up her hand, "It was a difficult night...for everyone…"

"No excuse," Elliot said firmly, "…we both know that better than most people and I apologise."

She nodded, "Where did it all go wrong, El?"

Elliot laughed humourlessly, "I think we know the answer to that question."

"We were always friends above everything else, I think it's important to take the time to remember that," Olivia acknowledged warmly.

"So this isn't…" He paused and then continued carefully, "…you haven't changed your mind?"

She shook her head, "I'm in love with Rafael, Elliot. I think you saw that."

He nodded, "He's a good guy?"

Olivia smiled affectionately, "He's a wonderful man – smart, funny, kind."

"I don't need to ask if he loves you," Elliot acknowledged with a slight eye-roll.

_"_And he loves my son…" Olivia paused for a minute, she didn't want to gloat but she needed him to understand that this was real. "We've been close friends for a long time, El. I guess he somehow filled a space you left in my life…and in my heart…only Rafael opened his heart to me as well...and now his life."

"I'm not the same man I was…" Elliot started to contend.

Olivia shook her head, "I don't doubt you…and maybe if you hadn't left things would have been different…or maybe if Rafael and I had never met things might even be different now. But I believe we are the product of the people we let into our hearts and I am not the same woman you left behind either. I thought I was _so_ in love with you…"

Elliot looked pained but didn't speak.

"But what I have with Rafael is different. I don't say this to hurt you, El, only in the hope you will understand. I trust him, I feel safe with him…and with all that…"

She smiled and Elliot saw her eyes glow. "The sex is _that_ good?" He asked and smiled in spite of himself; he loved her enough to appreciate her obvious happiness.

Olivia smirked at him but didn't answer. "I realised that he loved me that night…"

Elliot looked shocked; he had assumed he had misread their relationship.

"As soon as I saw him I panicked, I felt sure that he'd seen you kiss me, assume the worst and…" She shuddered.

Elliot sighed, "You thought he'd leave you?"

She nodded, "But he stayed, El. He stayed and he held me…and he promised that he would never leave. I have a family now. My son, my lover, my brothers and sisters. I didn't understand it at the time but you gave me all that…"

"…By walking away," Elliot concluded sadly.

"I think we both need to move on, Elliot," She reached across and slipped her hand into his. "Maybe this time we can do that with a little closure?"

"You were always the smartest one, 'Liv," Elliot smiled at her affectionately.

"And you always underestimated yourself. It amazed me that such an otherwise arrogant man could be riddled with such self-doubt." Their fingers threaded together and they smiled at each other. "We were always friends first, let's remember that when we think about each other from now on."

"Another life?" He said with a warm smile.

"If I believed in that stuff I might suppose it was a possibility," she teased, then brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it before letting go. "We only get one life, Elliot Stabler, do me a favour and don't waste it on regrets."

He smiled sadly and nodded, "I meant what I said to you the other night, 'Liv, I want you to be happy."

She smiled and nodded, "For the first time in a long time…maybe ever…I genuinely believe I can be."

* * *

Barba closed his laptop and was just slipping it into his case when Olivia walked through and wordlessly sat in the chair opposite.

"So, how was he?" Barba asked with a smirk.

"Stabler or Munch?" She teasingly evaded.

"You know I mean Stabler…although I will admit to being more emotionally invested in knowing how Munch is," Barba rolled his eyes.

"We've said our goodbyes, amicably this time, we're both ready to move on," Olivia explained simply.

"You're okay with that? You didn't want to stay in touch?" Barba checked, trying not to sound as reluctant as he felt.

Olivia laughed, "I love you for asking, but I really can't see how that would work…not after everything. I've moved on, he needs to as well. But now I have what the kids call 'closure'."

Barba chuckled softly, "So?"

"I told him that I loved him once…but then I explained that I'm completely in love with this infuriating ADA...then we made our peace," Olivia explained succinctly.

He nodded and smiled sympathetically, "I know what he meant to you, are you sure you're okay?"

"I've recently found out that the man I've been in love with for years, who I've secretly been lusting after and having highly unprofessional fantasies about in the workplace, actually loves me too…and loves my son…and wants to be a part of our family. Trust me, Rafa, I'm _way_ past okay…" Her eyes danced with happiness and humour and Barba swore that he felt his heart skip a beat.

"And Elliot Stabler?" Barba checked.

"I hope he finds that same happiness," Olivia concluded with a shrug.

He smirked, "You know I'm flexible, but I'm not sure he's my type."

Olivia laughed, "You're mine now, _only_ mine. Elliot can find his own happiness."

Barba wasn't sure he'd ever felt this happy. He stood and picked up his bags, "Want to walk to pick up Noah? It's a nice day…"

"You're cutting out early again?" Olivia smiled with amusement as he walked around the desk. She stood and kissed him softly.

"I am a man in love and I don't even care who knows it," Barba said with a dramatic flair.

Olivia kissed the crook of his neck and breathed in deeply. "You know we need to talk about work," she brought up a little reluctantly.

"I'm going to ask for a transfer," Barba said simply. "I've already started the paperwork but I wanted to talk to you about it first.

"Barba, _no…"_ She said sharply.

"Barba?" He laughed.

Olivia smiled, "We're talking about work, I guess old habits…" She paused and then continued. "Rafa, I can't ask you to give up your job."

"You're not, this is all me…and I'm not leaving my job, I'm asking to be transferred to an area where my main focus will not be SVU cases. I'll still be an ADA, I'll still be based here…but we can disclose and be out in the open."

"Rafa…" Olivia started to argue again.

"You know that I love working with SVU, but I can still advise…and well, if you're worried about my career you know it would be impacted far more severely if we continue covertly and then get discovered."

Olivia sighed and nodded, as always Barba was making valid points.

"I just hate that you're the one having to make the sacrifices," Olivia explained regretfully.

"I've loved working with SVU, but I would always have moved on eventually. Maybe this is sooner than I intended…" Barba picked up his bags and they walked towards the door, "…but if I'm honest, I'm not sure I ever intended to stay as long as I have. You may have distracted me for a while."

Olivia slipped her hand into his and squeezed as they walked out of his office, then quickly let go and stepped to a respectful distance.

"You know what I'd love even more than working with you every day?" Barba asked quietly as the walked to the elevator.

Olivia looked up at him and raised her eyebrows.

"Coming home to you and Noah, every night."

* * *

Olivia returned to work the next morning and Fin smiled at her as she walked past his desk.

"What?" Olivia asked and shrugged.

"You look happy," Fin observed and raised an eyebrow knowingly.

"I look happy?" Olivia repeated.

Rollins looked up and peered at her boss carefully, "You do look different…"

Olivia raised her eyebrows and shook her head in wonder.

"You're smiling…" Carisi added, his eyes dancing.

Olivia immediately glared at Fin, "Did you tell everyone?"

Fin looked remorseful but shrugged in attempted nonchalance, "Just 'Manda and Carisi."

"I would have expected better from you," Olivia said quietly.

"We won't say a word boss," Rollins assured needlessly.

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Well, luckily none of us needs to worry about that, I'm afraid we're going to be getting a new ADA to train up."

"A new…" Fin started to ask and then stopped with a smile as Olivia perched on his desk. She clearly wasn't as annoyed by his indiscretion as he'd feared.

"This is serious then? I mean, really serious?" Rollins asked.

They were all talking quietly but Olivia glanced around to make sure that no one was listening. She nodded towards her office and the three detectives stood and followed. As soon as the door closed Olivia sat behind her desk and held up her hand, "Okay, full confession. I am in love with ADA Rafael Barba, we have both decided to make this work and he is currently asking for a transfer to another office."

"So, pretty serious then…" Carisi concluded with a smile.

"Yeah," Olivia's eyes laughed at him.

"You're happy?" Rollins asked with a smile.

"Amanda, I can't remember ever being this happy. Noah is over the moon, he adores his Uncle Rafa…and…" Olivia looked away, surprised and embarrassed to feel tears in her eyes. Then she rallied and added, "Rafa loves my son."

The three detectives noted the change of name with warm smiles but said nothing.

"You deserve to be happy, 'Liv, more than anyone I know," Fin said with genuine warmth.

"So does he," Olivia added happily.

* * *

They sat in the bath later that evening, Olivia's head resting against his chest as her fingers stroked up and down his forearms.

Barba's fingertips traced slowly over two cigarette burn scars below her clavicle. He bent to kiss her shoulder and thought back to that time. "I wished that I could have taken away your pain...somehow taken it onto myself. I'd never seen you look like that, 'Liv, so vulnerable. I just wanted to wrap you up and shield you from everything, but I was the one pushing you to face it all..."

Olivia shook her head and turned to kiss his arm, "We faced it together, Rafa. Just having you there in front of me made a difference. I was never alone in that courtroom."

His hand stroked over her hair.

"Do they bother you? The scars?" Olivia asked uncomfortably.

Barba breathed in sharply and tightened his embrace. "I want to transport myself to that moment, take every blow...absorb every burn..." He was silent for a few seconds then added, "You're beautiful, you're perfect."

A tear slipped down Olivia's face, "I felt the same way when you told me about your father. I wanted to protect you - the boy that you were, the man that you have become."

"We're the product of our experiences, 'Liv..." Barba acknowledged, echoing the words she had said to Elliot the day before. "We can't change that past, but maybe we can make it easier by being here for each other today...and from now on."

Olivia nodded, "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

"I want to enjoy this," Barba assured softly, "...I will tell you everything though, another time."

She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of the tub mixed with her partner's unique aroma. He picked up some nearby soap and started to slowly run his hands over her skin. "I'm not going anywhere," she assured him peacefully.

_TBC..._


	9. Ice Cream in the Park

The next afternoon Barba received a text at about 2 pm.

**\- - - Finishing soon? x**

Barba smiled, the little x alone was enough to make him feel happy.

**\- - - Could be done in half-an-hour, why?**

He continued with his work and then after a minute or so his phone vibrated again.

**\- - - Lucy is studying and I'm stuck at work – any chance you could get Noah?**

Barba smiled again and looked at the time, he was actually more than happy to collect his little amigo – he wanted to see him.

**\- - - No problem – shall I take him back to yours?**

The phone vibrated immediately.

**\- - - Bring a change of clothes x**

His eyes danced and then he looked up to see Carmen walking into his office. "I'm finishing in half-an-hour, feel free to take an early day…"

Carmen smiled, "I hope you don't mind me saying, but you seem…happy."

Barba shrugged and then took a breath, "I guess I should let you know before you hear on the grapevine - I've applied for a transfer out of this office."

His assistant looked surprised but nodded professionally, "I'm genuinely sorry to hear that, Mr Barba."

"I…well, I'm not sure how you feel about the situation. I hope to be moving within this district and you would be more than welcome to move with me, if you…" He started.

Carmen cut in, "I would really like that, Mr Barba, thank you. Can I ask why?" She paused, concerned that she was pushing her luck and asking too much.

Barba's mouth turned up at the side a little and then he quirked up an eyebrow. "Can I assume that this is confidential?"

Carmen nodded quickly, "Of course, sir."

He sighed and then conceded. "Personal conflict within the department – time to move on and prioritise my personal life a little."

Carmen looked at him carefully for a few seconds, her eyes narrowing…and then suddenly she smiled. "So this is about a certain lieutenant?"

Barba smiled but said nothing, he looked back down at his phone as Carmen left the room with a broad grin on her face.

He opened his phone again, tapped quickly and then got back to work.

**\- - - See you at home x**

* * *

As soon as Noah saw Barba at preschool he grinned and ran over to him. "Uncle Rafa!" He threw his arms around his legs excitedly and managed to drop his soccer ball and send it bouncing across the yard.

Barba smiled down at him and nodded gratefully at the young woman who was walking towards them with the retrieved ball.

She smiled and handed Barba the ball. Then looked down at her papers scanning for Noah's name, "I'm sorry, sir. Can I just confirm who you are?"

Barba was about to hold out his hand and introduce himself when Noah cut in.

"Miss Jackson!" He said excitedly. "This is my Uncle Rafa, one day he is going to be my daddy!"

The young girl smiled at Noah and was just about to speak to a very flustered looking Rafael Barba when her colleague arrived.

"It's okay, Poppy, Mr Barba has been on Noah's emergency contact list since he started here and has already picked up Noah a few times this week. He's been transferred onto the regular pick-up list by the office."

Both ladies smiled at Barba and he leaned forward to shake the teacher's hands. "Please, Rafael is fine."

Poppy smiled at him, "So _you're_ the famous Uncle Rafa that Noah is always talking about? It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm sorry, I've been off this week so didn't realise."

Barba shook his head, "You can't be too careful, Noah's safety is paramount and I'm more than happy you checked."

Poppy smiled at him warmly and bent down to Noah's level, "Why don't you show Uncle Rafa your drawing?"

Noah grinned and pulled it out of his bag.

Barba dropped down next to them and looked at the picture. Clearly a very colourful rendering of Noah, Olivia and himself – each was holding one of his hands. He smiled. "And who is this?" He asked and pointed at the brown blotch to the side of him.

"That's our doggy, when we all live together we have to get a doggy…" Noah explained earnestly.

The teacher smirked a little at Barba's raised eyebrows.

"Noah, you know what we said about taking things slowly," he said carefully. Then looked at the teacher, "His momma and I have only recently started seeing each other but we've been friends for a long time." The teacher smiled with obvious amusement and Barba wondered why he suddenly felt the need to explain the situation.

Noah nodded sagely, but then pointed out, "I know, Uncle Rafa, but momma loves you, I love you, and you love us…so we could be together forever."

Barba let out a long breath and picked up Noah as he stood. He nodded a subtle goodbye to the understanding teacher. He thought for a few seconds and then finally conceded. "Forever sounds perfect, Noah."

* * *

The next day was Saturday, so after breakfast, Olivia looked over at Noah. "We have a _whole _day to ourselves, what do you want to do?."

Noah grinned, "Uncle Rafa coming too?"

Olivia glanced at Barba and he nodded.

"Sure he is, what did you have in mind?" She checked.

"Park!" Noah suggested quickly.

Olivia smiled at Barba and raised her eyebrows, "What do _you_ think?"

"I think as it's Saturday we should go to Central Park – we could take a picnic, maybe even hire a boat. Noah?"

Noah's eyes lit up and he shrieked with excitement.

Olivia slipped her hand into Barba's and squeezed it tightly, "You're sure?" She checked with a smile.

"Positive," he assured.

* * *

As soon as he was given the freedom to, Noah raced off ahead of Barba and Olivia, but they both smiled when he kept looking back at them cautiously.

Barba slipped his hand into Olivia's - this felt good...and _so_ natural.

After a few minutes, Noah ran back over to them and straight towards his mom. He pulled off his backpack, gave it to Olivia and then grabbed Barba's hand to pull him towards the play area.

Barba looked at her and shrugged as he was tugged away.

Olivia laughed - she wasn't offended or hurt, she was genuinely thrilled to watch her best friend and her son bonding so beautifully. She waved at them both and then suddenly rushed towards them. "Give me your bag as well, Rafa. I'll look for somewhere nearby to set up the picnic."

Noah waited patiently while Barba pulled off his backpack and passed it to Olivia, he leaned and kissed her cheek before being pulled away again.

Olivia kept watching them playing together as she set up under a nearby tree. She'd picked up a little trash and was just walking towards the garbage when she almost walked into Elliot Stabler.

Elliot smiled, "We must stop meeting like this."

"What are you doing here?" Olivia asked with a sincere smile.

"Job on the other side of the park, it's a nice day so I thought I'd walk and enjoy the weather," he explained.

Olivia nodded and shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked up, "It is a beautiful day."

"Here on your own?" He asked.

She smiled and nodded towards the play area. Barba had Noah on his shoulders lifting him up to reach the monkey bars as he walked him across to the end. Noah covered the ADA's eyes with his little hands and Barba yelled out in faux shock before they both started to laugh.

Olivia looked back at Elliot and smiled, then nodded over to the nearby picnic. "I'm the boss now, so I do occasionally get scheduled days off. I try to get them to land on weekends as often as possible so that I can spend time with Noah. The guys are pretty good about it."

Elliot nodded and watched Barba pretend to fall to the floor exhaustedly and Noah leapt on top of him. "They're close…" He observed.

She grinned at them and nodded, "Barba was a disaster when I first got Noah. I handed him to him once and he held him out in front of him like an unexploded bomb."

Her old friend chuckled and watched the lawyer grab hold of Noah and tickle him. "They seem to be more than fine now."

"Rafael is family. They muddled through together and Noah seemed to take to him from the start, I guess Noah might have picked up on our bond..." Olivia waved at them, calling them over.

Barba noticed Elliot straight away and picked up Noah before walking towards them.

"Mr Stabler, good to see you again," Barba held out his free hand and Elliot shook it firmly.

"Please call me Elliot," he looked at Noah and smiled, "…we met at the hospital the other day, but it's nice to meet you properly now."

Noah smiled a little shyly and leant into his Uncle Rafa.

"Remember? Elliot is an old friend of your momma's," Barba explained to Noah softly, "they worked together a long time ago."

Noah smiled at his mom and then at the strange man, "You worked with Uncle Rafa as well?"

Elliot shook his head, "No, I knew your mom a long time before she even met your Uncle Rafa…before you were even born."

Noah frowned, he couldn't imagine his momma before he was born, or what it would be like to not know Uncle Rafa. This man confused him.

"Uncle Rafa, can we get ice-cream?" Noah smiled at him and held onto his shirt.

Barba looked at Olivia, checking that she was happy for them to leave – he didn't want her to think he was being rude.

Olivia picked up on the unspoken question and nodded her head. "Elliot is on his way to work, you two go and get ice-cream and I'll watch the bags."

Barba nodded, checked his back pocket for money and then started to move away. Suddenly he felt Olivia's hand in his pulling him to a stop.

"Butterscotch," she smiled at him,

Barba grinned, "Lo que quieras, Cariño."

Olivia smiled, kissed him gently and then let them go.

"He's…?" Elliot asked.

Olivia looked confused for a second and then smiled, "Originally? Cuban…mi hombre guapo."

He smiled, "You're smitten."

"I can't remember if I've ever felt safe enough to fall into a relationship like this, El. I always kept a little of myself back to avoid being hurt," she observed as they walked back towards the picnic area.

"And now?" Elliot asked.

"I know that Rafael is as invested in this as I am. We're both damaged…but we've found safety in each other. We have the potential to build something that neither of us believed we would ever find and we're aware enough to ensure that we make this work."

Elliot nodded, "I'm going to move back to be near my family, 'Liv. I know I need to make that work. You've even inspired me to put myself out there again, an old friend has set me up on a date."

Olivia smiled, "That's really good, El. I hope it goes well."

He shrugged, "I don't expect to meet the woman of my dreams on the first date…but…"

She nodded, "Opening yourself up to that is an important step."

"Well, I'd better…" Elliot nodded back in his original direction.

"Yes…and good luck on that date!" She added.

Elliot smiled a little sadly and nodded, "Take care, 'Liv - of yourself _and_ your little family."

She smiled and nodded, looking up to see Barba and Noah heading back in their direction.

He leaned in and kissed her cheek, then walked away.

As he walked he turned a little and looked back - he saw Noah run around to sit on their blanket and then Barba walk straight over to Olivia with her ice-cream. She laughed cheerfully when the melted cream ran down her arm and then he saw Barba lean down and lick up her forearm. Olivia grabbed his arm and stole a lick from her lover's pistachio cone and then pressed a smiling kiss to his lips.

Elliot watched them from a distance for a few seconds, then nodded with satisfaction before finally walking away.

_(Little epilogue on the way!)_


	10. Epilogue

Noah ran up the path and then squealed with excitement when he saw the beach and coastline.

Olivia smiled at Barba and stepped closer to slip her hand into his as they followed their boy towards the beach.

"I can't believe we offered him a birthday party and he decided he wanted us to come away instead," she observed happily and rested her head on his arm as they walked along.

It had been a little over 5 months since that fateful morning when Olivia had received the call from the hospital, and neither of them had looked back.

"So…tonight or tomorrow?" Barba asked Olivia as they watched Noah run along the beach.

"Tomorrow," Olivia said decisively. "I know it's not technically a birthday present but I think he's going to be more excited about this than any of his toys."

"You think I transcend that giant Ninjago monstrosity?" He laughed.

"I know you do, you might protest but you'll be at his side for hours enthusiastically building that thing, which is one of the many reasons that you surpass everything in that little boy's eyes…and his mother's."

Barba leaned and kissed her temple. "Except his Momma," he smiled.

"I think we can call that a draw, especially after tomorrow," Olivia argued, "…and I wouldn't have that any other way."

She shivered a little in the evening chill and Barba quickly slipped off his jacket and lay it around her shoulders.

"My man is such a gentleman," Olivia smiled at him gratefully and pushed her hands through the arms, taking a deep breath and appreciating being surrounded by _Barbaroma._

"What are you smiling at?" Barba asked softly.

"Nothing…" She said happily and leaned back into his side. "We've come a long way in a few months."

"Once we knew, we knew, no point holding back," He shrugged contently.

"You asked him?" Olivia inquired.

"Carisi?" Barba checked and then nodded, "I did. He might be the 'best' on offer, but I think he was a little _too_ happy."

Olivia laughed, "Sweetheart, you probably made his year_…_he thinks the world of you and you know it."

He laughed lightly and tucked his arm around Olivia's waist.

Noah turned back towards them and ran over, "Can I play in the water, Momma?"

"Tomorrow, mijo," Barba answered for them both. "It's getting late and you'll get too cold, tomorrow morning the sun will be out and we can build castles and splash in the sea all day if you want…you will be the birthday boy."

Noah nodded happily at the deal on offer and slipped his hand into Barba's as they walked back up towards the beach house.

"Can we order pizza?" Noah tried again and tugged on his hand.

Barba looked at Olivia who shrugged and nodded, "If the birthday boy wants pizza I think we can agree to that."

Noah whooped loudly and pulled down violently on Barba's hand, tugging him a little off balance on the sand.

"Careful, sweet boy, you'll pull Uncle Rafa's arm off…" Olivia laughed.

Noah smiled up at Barba, "Sorry, Uncle Rafa."

Barba shook his head and then reached down to pick the boy up, lifting him onto his shoulders as they walked up the path.

Olivia found the key and they let themselves in, she looked around proudly as they walked through the now-familiar space and watched Barba and Noah digging through some bags for his mobile phone.

"I'll phone and order if you want to unpack and unwind a little, Noah and I can play for a while and call you when the food arrives?" Barba suggested.

Olivia smiled and shook her head, "It's been a long week, but I can't think of a better way to unwind than building robots with my two favorite men."

* * *

The next morning, Noah sat happily surrounded by gift-wrap and boxes. It had been the first year that gift shopping had been a joint effort for Olivia and she conceded that they might have gone a little overboard.

"We have one final gift," Olivia told Noah with an excited smile. "Well, it's not exactly a gift, but we think you'll be very excited to hear what we're going to tell you."

Barba chuckled a little nervously, "Don't build this up too much, 'Liv, he might be disappointed."

She smirked, "Not possible."

Noah looked between them, clearly excited and a little confused.

"Noah," Olivia started slowly, "…next weekend Uncle Rafa is going to be moving to live with us permanently. We're going to stay at our place for a while - but on weekends you, me and Uncle Rafa are going to start looking for a place of our very own."

Noah smiled and looked at Barba with wide eyes, they spent so much time together that Barba might as well be living with them already, but Noah understood that this was a big step.

"There's more," Barba continued, "…before Christmas we are all going to go to the courthouse with Uncle Sonny, Uncle Fin, Auntie Amanda and Jessie…and while we are there we're going to get married in front of a judge."

Noah smiled so widely that his cheeks started to hurt and he bit his lip.

"Now this is where Uncle Rafa and I need to ask you an important question – and this is _completely_ your choice Noah. We want you to know that neither Uncle Rafa or I will be upset or angry with whatever you decide."

Noah frowned a little now and glanced at Uncle Rafa.

Barba moved to sit on the floor with him, "Noah, you understand that when I marry your momma I will become your daddy? Nothing will ever change that…but how would you feel if I also filled out some extra paperwork which would mean that I would _officially_ become your daddy?"

"Off-i-cally?" Noah checked with a small smile on his face.

"The judge would make me and momma, husband and wife…but she would also start the process of making you my son as well. That bit would be official; legally binding…and _forever._ Just like you and momma," Barba tried to explain but felt like he was failing.

Noah looked at his momma and clarified, "We would all be a family? We would belong together?"

"We already belong together, baby, this is just the next step," Olivia confirmed.

The little boy smiled and looked down at his feet for a second, then he looked back at Barba, "I can call you Daddy? You'll never need to go home again? Because your home will be with us?"

Barba smiled at the simplicity, "My home would be with you."

"Then, yes please…to everything…" Noah said happily and leapt into Barba's arms. After a long hug, he pulled back and looked at Olivia. "We will have a 'making a family' party?"

Olivia smiled at Barba and then shrugged, "Sure, we can do that."

Noah smiled happily, "So for my birthday I get the beach, Lego, a party _and_ a new daddy?" He confirmed and Olivia nodded a little tearfully, her hand slipping into Barba's. "Momma, I really like birthdays…I wonder what I'll get next year!"

(Noah was already wondering if he could wait a _whole_ year for his new doggy.)

THE END


End file.
